Isibaya episode on Parents vs Children a reality
Parents vs Students on deciding a career; Yesterday’s episode of Isibaya on Mzansi Magic about Melusi Zungu’s sharp disagreement with his parents over which course to enroll for at University resonates well with many TMS readers. One of the young ladies whom we know very well had a taste of what this is like.
One can only imagine what many families go through when it comes to this subject. Now normally the standoff between parents and their children can potentially ruin the relationship. Parents always feel like they have the experience, knowledge, wisdom and money in a relationship; therefore they can advise or in most cases impose their preferences on what their children should study at the university. Children feel that it is them doing the studying; it is their future and they have dreams therefore they should decide what is it that they want to study.
Who should decides?
Both sides have strong wills and arguments can go from something like: “You can never make a living out of that silly dream of yours; you need to study something like nursing or teaching where you are guaranteed employment after completing your studies”; to “but I want to study art because I am creative; why don’t you support me on that? do you even understand me or you just want me to do what you enforce me to do”.
Stories such as these as well as yesterday’s episode on Isibaya on Mzansi Magic; reveal the reality of sensitive subject parents and their children get to live through during this period. This often results in one rebelling against the other. If one loses this contest then they wait for that “I told you so moment”.
Dear Parents; the career conversation should happen throughout your child’s primary and high school life, it cannot be a University registration day conversation. You will realize that your child’s dreams keep changing as they get more information about what they want to do and about other industries. Your job is to support, guide, suggest and refer.
- Support them even if you don’t agree with their choices; communicate that you do not agree with them but you support and respect their decision.
- Guide them when they need your guidance, do not impose your authority on them, they already know that you are the authority, the last thing they want is to rebel against you.
- Make strong suggestions or recommendations to help them expand their pool of choices, but that’s just about it, again don’t impose.
- And lastly refer them to someone that they trust and you also trust to speak to and get that advice; sometimes it helps to open up to someone other than your family member.
Students: Your parents ultimately they will fight with you over choices because they love you and they want what’s best for you. Remember they have been exposed to all sort of life experiences that they do not want you to experience. Therefore find ways to win them over.
- Constantly bother them with your dream career years before reaching the University stage, they will feel like they are part of your choices
- Talk to them about your challenges in schools especially with subjects. It is very important at this point not to seek any solution forms them but just let them know that you just need to update them so they know.
- Be a smooth operate and take care of your home responsibility this goes a long way in winning your parents over when it comes to your dreams
Feel free to add your tips and comments here for the class of 2018.